The View

Watchers of The View were treated to a phone call from Elisabeth Hasselbeck, whose ever-fertile, neocon-replicating loins produced a healthy baby boy over the weekend: Taylor Thomas Hasselbeck--mom was a huge Home Improvement fan--is surely meant for great things, possessing both his father's athletic grace and his mother's superhuman ability to withstand fire-breathing co-hosts while still managing to squeeze in some point about how Iraqi women raped by international soldiers have no right to abortions. That's pretty cool if you ask me. I'm gonna go drink more now.