Drunk Blogger Parties in Miami For New Year's

I partied in Miami's south beach this year for New Year's. I promise I did not give Lindsay Lohan drugs, nor did I not not give her food. I offered her food, she just wouldn't take it because she feared I put drugs in it. Irony. All in all, it was a shitty New Year's since we refused to pay ridiculous cover for a club. It may have been more fun at the time, but right now, my wallet is pretty happy. Yes, wallet. I don't use a money clip. I use an ugly American wallet and I'm damn proud. Quit judging my wallet you communist. Oh, did Michael Moore put you up to this? Bullshit. I'm stopping this blog right now just for that. Oh, also, I did not give Lindsay Lohan pearl jewelry. Contact the drunk blogger at antonlash@yahoo.com.