Oscar Predictions: Vol. 2

Best Actor In A Leading Role: Terrence Howard, Hustle & Flow In a surprise move Terrence Howard will win the academy award for Best Actor for his portrayal of pimp/hustler turned rapper Dee Jay in Hustle & Flow. Although, originally, the award will go to Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote, the award will be turned over to Howard when he rushes the stage during Hoffman's acceptance speech dressed as Dee Jay and in character. Dee Jay will demand the Oscar after finding out that Ludacris, while drunk, flushed the envelope with Terrence Howard's name down the toilet in a run-down bar in Memphis. When Hoffman asks, "How is that possible?" Dee Jay will shoot him, claim the Oscar and immediately break into the song "Whoop That Trick" with the ensemble Orchestra at the Kodak Theatre playing the background music and a few local LA prostitutes singing back-up vocals. People will initially try to stop him and help the ailing Hoffman, but will eventually forget that anything even happened because Dee Jay's song is just too good not to listen to and enjoy. It sure is a close race for Best Actor! Best Actress In A Leading Role: Judi Dench, Mrs. Henderson Presents Judi Dench will win the Oscar for Best Actress In A Leading Role solely based on the fact that she is the oldest nominee. She will win even though nobody saw Mrs. Henderson Presents or even really knows what it's about. Felicty Huffman's nomination for Transamerica will be disqualified and later re-assigned to the 'Best Actor' category where she will lose to Phillip Seymor Hoffman and eventually, Terrence Howard. Charlize Theron won't win because she already won an Oscar and she didn't make herself ugly enough for her role in North Country. Reese Witherspoon will be frustrated with not winning for Walk The Line, quit acting, be accepted to Harvard Law School and move to Boston with her tiny dog. Lastly, the Academy will give Keira Knightley her own Oscar for being really hot. You won't want to miss a second of the action folks! Only on ABC! 5PM PT/8PM ET The Drunk Blogger will one day win an Oscar, category TBD.