Oscar Predictions: Vol. 3

Jon Stewart will fail miserably as host of the 78th Annual Academy Awards - not because he isn't funny, but because during every joke, right as he is about to deliver a punchline, Sean Penn will stand up in the crowd and interrupt him in an attempt to rid the Oscar's of any comedy whatsoever. Later, while Sean Penn is on stage to present an award he will state, "Jude Law is STILL one of our finest actors and our HOST needs to realize that. Whichever brave man stood up and interrupted his jokes is not only a gentleman and a scholar, but a national hero as well. Also, Jude Law Ya'll." He will then recite a poem that he wrote entitled, "Goobly Goobly Goo, Duh, Ayyyee, Bahbaduh Ba," and dedicate it to the men and women fighting overseas, victims of Hurricane Katrina and all of the homeless Americans "watching the show tonight." They will all reject his dedication, except for the homeless - for obvious reasons. They don't understand what the hell he is talking about either. I also predict that this statue will be displayed at the Academy Awards. I can go drive down the street and look at it if you don't believe me. Man, I'm so awesome..... Who knew that I would become a millionaire and make money blogging. And to think - I thought I would make a bunch of money stock option trading. What was I thinking? Drunk Blogger is a regular contributor to GQ Magazine...unintentionally. Copyright 2015.