Oscar Predictions: Vol. 4 (The Techies)

Achievement in Film Editing: Cinderella Man Cinderella Man will win the 2006 Academy Award for Best Editing, marking the first time a film that was released 5 years ago will win the present year's Oscar. Achievement in Makeup: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe Immediately after presenting the award to the makeup artists, the camera will cut to a side stage where Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell of SNL will emerge, wearing tuxedos and begin to perform "Lazy Sunday" AKA "The Chronic-What-les of Narnia." It will receieve a weak response from the crowd and even a few boos because of overkill. Ironically, the same song that made Saturday Night Live funny again, will make SNL not funny....again. After the performance, the crowd on hand at the 78th Annual Academy Awards will begin chanting, "We Want Ferrell, We Want Ferrell!" Achievement in Sound Editing: War Of The Worlds War Of The Worlds will win the Oscar for best sound editing. The win will later be protested by runner-ups King Kong and Memoirs of a Geisha who claim that most of WotW's (you like that acronym?) sound effects were not edited at all and were merely Tom Cruise, off camera, making noise while [Insert Any Tom Cruise Joke You Would Like Here, "Being Tom Cruise" Is An Acceptable Answer] Achievement in Costume Design: Mrs. Henderson Presents After Mrs. Henderson Presents wins for best costume design, there will be an awkward moment when a large percentage of the audience blurts out, "WTF is Mrs. Henderson Presents?" simultaneously. Embarassed, everybody who asked the question will (in standard Hollywood form) begin to laugh and try to play it off as if it was a joke, no matter how blatantly obvious that it wasn't. Luckily, the cursing will be edited out for the show on the west coast, even though that is impossible because the show is airing, live - from the west coast. My predictions have been found to be 96.5% accurate. You'll have to tune in to ABC to see though! The Drunk Blogger is head staff writer for The Hollywood Reporter...yeah...that's it. Copyright 1986.