Clippers Win, Because I Ran Into Elton Brand Last Summer

The Clippers are having one of their best seasons in franchise history, have made the playoffs and are up 2-0 against the Denver Nuggets. You know why? Because I rebounded a few shots for Elton Brand last summer at 24-Hour Fitness in Hollywood. That's right, the attitude I conveyed while rebounding those missed 3-pointers by Elton Brand, carried over to him and eventually the rest of the team. Los Angeles Clippers fans, you can thank me. Ladies & Gentlemen, get ready for a Drunk Blogger flashback.... It was an oh so dynamic, sunny and caliente day as I entered 24-Hour Fitness in Hollywood last Summer. The months are unknown, but they are also unnecessary. Experts believe it was between the months of June & July. Who knew, the attitude of one young man, could change the face of a professional sports franchise...FOREVER... Just kidding, fuck all that shit. Here is what happened: Last Summer, I went to play basketball at 24-Hour Fitness and Elton Brand showed up. He wasn't playing but he was wearing big headphones while jogging and dribbling the ball around the court. While I was waiting to play, he was shooting around at the same basket that I was. He was shooting 3-pointers. I was rebounding. We exchanged some kind of a joke as he totally airballed one 3. I don't remember what it was. This is a flashback of course. Also, let me just say, there is a reason why Elton Brand doesn't shoot 3's in the NBA. No offense EB(That's what I call him...or at least would if I actually knew him. I'm going to pretend that I am good friends with him to look cool though.) Anyway, that was about it and then he left the gym. But, that is why...well...that is why nothing, the Clippers picked up Sam Cassell & Cuttino Mobley and Elton Brand got in great shape and is having an MVP-like season. That is why they are having a great season. If I was famous though, I would go on Jim Rome is Burning, sit next to Roger Lodge, and joke about how the great season can all be attributed to my rebounding skills. Ahh, that would be a fun day... Since I'm not famous though, I have to resort to writing this fucking piece of shit blog, mother fucker, son of a fucking bitch, I need a new outlet..FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh. Sorry about that. I'm just really competitive. Picture Note: Here is a picture of Elton Brand, who apparently, can fly. Drunk Blogger is a regular contributor to those cute little charts and graphs for USA Today. Psych.