Tara Reid on South Park

Here is a picture of Tara Reid in an upcoming episode of South Park that will air 2 years from now. How did I get this exclusive screenshot from this upcoming Tara Reid episode?....I didn't. I made this picture myself and made up that story about it being from an upcoming episode of South Park 2 years from now. If Tara Reid was going to be on South Park though, I imagine her looking something like this. Well, alright, maybe not, but a buddy of mine, he imagined that this is what she would look like...OK..ok..but you can imagine what it would be like imaging what it would be like if Tara Reid was on South Park? Right? BTW, did anybody see my film Saww III: The Sherman Oaks Webcam Murders on IFC tonight? Just wondering. It's a masterpiece. Anyway, here is how I came up with Tara Reid. For those of you who aren't a literary genius like myself, these are called symbols, or symbolism for short...or long:

• Lollipop - With the lollipop, I really wanted to bring out Tara's playful, youthful side, yet also illustrate the sense of entitlement that obviously started at a young age for her, hence the lollipop. The lollipop says, "Hey world, I'm a kid, but I'm not, but you can imagine what it would be like if I was."
• Beer (Bottle & Mug) - With the beer, I wanted to show Tara as being double-fisted, not only during most of the day, but during her whole life. She is not only double-fisted with alcoholic beverages, but double-fisted, almost everyday, with trying to balance her struggling acting career & her new reality show 'Taradise' her afternoon drives around Hollywood with nowhere to go.
• Pearl Necklace - The pearl necklace represents a family heirloom passed down from Tara's mother to her. It reminds her of their family history and the pride and integrity that the Reid family represents. That is why, Tara takes it off when she parties (most of her life) even though she forgot to in this picture.
• Cigar & Joint - This symbol (used in direct correlation with her eyes) represents Tara's attitude. It's carefree, high with her head in the clouds, no conscience to the outside world or how she may be perceived, and with 2 things in her mouth, which is a constant theme throughout Tara's day.
• The Dirt - all over Tara, represents the media & the gossip/trashing that she has had to endure while being in the public spotlight. Not only is it a symbol for the media, but it is actual dirt because Tara got wasted, left Dennis Rodman's apartment at 6 in the morning and fell in a big pile of mud (just before the filming of this episode of South Park.)
• Bandaid - The bandaid....well... there really is no symbolism to the band-aid, she just got wasted at a Maxim Superbowl party (you pick the year) and fell over and cut her face. Hence, the bandaid.

I hope you enjoyed my fine art. Join us next time, here at Le Drunk Blogquer Art Gallery/Wine & Cheese Tasting.

Drunk Blogger is a regular contributor to stuff. Nah, not the magazine, just stuff.