Drunk Blogger Contacted By Actual Royalty!

Hey everybody! I have amazing news! Mr. Mush Bolkiah, the eldest son of Prince Jefri Bolkiah (fromer Finance Minister of Brunei) has contacted me and is offering me huge percentages of money for helping him out! Not only that, I also recieved an e-mail from Princess Funmilayo Badmos with a similar offer as well! Both offers were today! Getting contacted by royalty from countries nobody has heard of offering you money twice in one day? It's fantastic! I'm so excited by this fabulous "business" opportunity that has been offered to me. My whole life is going to change. Gosh, actual royalty contacted little old stupid me from the midwest. I'm going to fall for this right away, seeing as it's a very urgent scam. Here is the letter as follows:

Dear Friend, I am Mr. Mush Bolkiah, the eldest son of Prince Jefri Bolkiah, former Finance Minister of Brunei, the tiny oil-rich sultanate on the Gulf Island of Borneo.I will save your time by not amplifying my extended royal family history, whichhas already been disseminated by the international media during the controversial dispute that erupted between my father and his stepbrother, the sultan of Brunei Sheik Muda Hassanal Bolkiah. As you may know from the international media,the sultan had accused my father of financial mismanagement and impropriety of US $14.8 billion dollars.This was as a result of the Asian financial crisis that made my father company Amedeo Development Company and government owned Brunei Investment Companyto be declared bankrupt during his tenure in office. However my father was kept under house arrest, his bank accounts and private properties including a crudeoilexport refinery were later confiscated by the sultanate. Furthermore during thisunfortunate period, I was advised to evacuate my immediate family outside thesultanateto avoid further prosecution from the sultan and his security operatives, butbefore I could do that I was placed under house arrest by the Sultan, but I havea Palm Vhand-held computer from which I am sending you this mail. Some of the guardshere are still loyal to me.Before my Incaseration, I went ahead to dispatch the sum of Twenty MillionUnited States Dollars (US$20,000,000.00) in left in a fixed/suspense account inone of theFirm here In Dakar Senegal.Please if you know you can assist in claiming and investing it in real estate/property to guarantee the future survival of my family, contact me fast so that I'll give youcontact information of the Firm here In Dakar Senegal where the funds was deposited. For your assistance i will compensate you with 25% of the total sumand another2% shall be set aside to defray any expenses that may arise. Please I count onyour absolute confidentiality, transparency and trust while looking forward toyour promptreply towards a swift conclusion of this business transaction through my email address as follows: mush@ParsiMail.com

Thanks & May Allah's blessings remain with you. Please I await your prompt reply. I remain yours sincerely, Mr. Mush Bolkiah.

Wow, what incredible bullshit! Had I been an absolute moron, maybe I would have fallen for it, but as it is, I'm not a moron. I only play one on TV - so sorry Prince Makmak Rauf or whatever the fuck your name is, quit trying to scam me. Damn, Dave Chappelle was right, if the internet was a real place,it would be horrible place to be. Too bad the whole world is pretty much becoming the internet. I think we are all doomed. If somebody could please spam the guys e-mail address or send them a virus, it would be much appreciated. Screw these pieces of shit who try to scam people. Non-Scam Promotion: Hi, I'm what they call the Drunk Blogger. I'm originally from Illinois, and now you can live there too! I'm am going to sell you something right now, or try to, that is completely, utterly, unbelievably and realistically awesome! You guessed it, Illinois homes. That's right. You should search Illinois homes. There was a record month for March in home sales in Illinois. The statewide median price is at $199,000. You want to know the craziest part? Total home sales statewide in March outperformed all previous years. They set a new record for the month! This makes is a great time to bu an Illinois home. Total homes sales (which include single-family and condominiums) were up 4.9 percent to 14,907 homes sold. This is compared to the previous record-high 14,207 homes sold in March 2005. You can't argue with these numbers folks.The New Castle Realty Group specializes in the Chicago and surrounding areas. This includes other hotspots such as Alqonquin, Barrington, Bloomingdale, Naperville, Schaumburg and many more! So check out the New Castle Reality Group. They can help you out, whether you are a first time buyer or experience in real estate investment. With New Castle, you'll get the "right" property and they will help you througout the whole process! Non-Scam Promotion #2: If you are anything like me, you know that a car insurance rate is a very important thing, especially if you drive a car. I was reading a report the other day that said GEICO advises auto owners in California to take a close look a the National Insurance Crime Bureau's or NCIB's latest report. California is actually the home of 6 of the top 10 places to get your automobile stolen. Are you kidding me? That sounds like an important thing to remember to me. I started to think to myself, "damn, what can I do?" But then, the report told me. It gave me 11 awesome tips to help reduce my car being stolen! 11 steps! Can you believe it. Here they are: 1) Keep your vehicle locked at all times, even while driving. Close all windows and sunroofs, no matter how hot it is.2) Never leave your keys in the car.3) If possible, park in busy, well-lit areas. Thieves prefer to work in the dark. Leave your car in park or in gear with the wheels turned toward the curb or some other obstruction, so thieves won't be able to tow it easily. 4) Avoid leaving valuables inside your vehicle where passersby can see them.5) Install an anti-theft system in your vehicle if it doesn't have one. A mechanism that locks onto the steering wheel can be a very visible sign that you've taken steps to protect your vehicle. Ignition cut-off systems prevent a car from being started. Some new cars come with passive alarms that activate automatically when the key is removed from the ignition. One system emits a signal that can be tracked by the police. Thieves are reluctant to steal vehicles that can be tracked and recovered quickly. Many insurers offer discounts for these types of systems.6) Beware of the "bump-and-rob" technique. Carjackers bump your car from the rear, then steal it when you get out to look for damage. When stopped at a traffic light, leave room to maneuver around the vehicle ahead if you need to. If another car bumps yours and you feel threatened, drive to a populated area. If you have a cell phone, call the police for assistance.7) Do not leave registration or title in the car. Too often a car thief is pulled over and gets away from the police because he or she can produce the auto registration. If multiple drivers use the vehicle, the best suggestion would be to hide the registration in a secret location that only the owners know.8) Look around. Be aware of your surroundings, especially in garages, parking lots and gas stations.9) Know where you're going. Avoid known high-crime areas even if the alternate route takes a little longer.10) If confronted by a carjacker, do not resist. Cars can be replaced; you can't.11) Have your car's vehicle identification number (VIN) etched on each of the windows. Car thieves want to get off cheap. They don't want to go to the expense of replacing all the glass.Aren't those some awesome tips? They really help too. I also found out the GEICO provides auto insurance quotes for all 50 states. It really doesn't get any better than that folks. You should check out their online insurance rates and quotes too. It will save you time and money! Awesome! Drunk Blogger can be seen promoting his new book of memoirs on Oprah, entitled, "WTF Am I Doing Here?"